BACK IN THE USA OH BOY!

I have taken a hiatus from the blog as I have been traveling and observing the world. I have met and talked with a lot of people and found some encouraging signs. I have a lot of young friends (up to 40 is young for me) who are facing a very challenging future. The amazing thing is their attitude is so good. In the past there were defining moments which created opportunities for people to reassess their lives and discover things about themselves that proved to be valuable. The Great Depression certainly shook things up in the 1930’s and World War II was defining for people in the 1940’s. As I remember the 1950’s were a time of putting ourselves back together after the Korean War and really WWII. The 1960’s were filled with defining moments. John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Vietnam, Kent State, hippies, sit in’s, the Civil Right’s Movement, free speech, cold war, Cuba, etc. The 70’s included more of the same as well as Nixon, Watergate, the oil embargo and various downturns in the ecconomy. I’m sure there were others. The 80’s brought AIDS into the equation and I’m sure lots of other moments.

I think that the 90’s were fairly mellow with a few downs in the economy but really boom times. The start of this century so far has been, in my opinion wierd. I don’t really think that until the last year and half that people had it rough unless you were involved directly with the war’s in Iraq and Afghanistan. Most of the young people that I know were merrily going along working hard and having fun. I don’t think that there was a major defining moment in the previous 20 years. That’s all changed now and the generation of my young friends has been and will probably be facing the defining moments and the challenges that these moments bring.

What I am so happy about is their willingness to hunker down in a positive way. I see them on Facebook encouraging each other and helping each other. I feel my chest expand and open up with joy as I see these folks move toward more important things such as friends, family, the enviornment and personal sense of self. I believe that we have to be in a position to expect the downsides of the future but also keep moving forward. In my last post a while ago I talked about facing tough moments and I hope that you will re-read and see how the information applies to your situation. In following posts I want to help guide as many people as want through these times. These times will be a great defining moment in who all of us become.

DENIAL, ANGER, SURRENDER, GRIEF

When something happens to a person where they feel a tremendous loss a process begins. The biggest loss is probably the death of a child or a spouse, parent or a friend. An even bigger loss is the prospect of the loss of your life. What’s happening now is the death of a way of life for many people. Their loss of retirement, job, money and even their homes may change their way of life. I think all of these are tremendous losses and who would want to face them. However life must go on and a process begins. It has four stages which are: DENIAL, ANGER, SURRENDER, AND GRIEF.

 As a world we are dealing with loss. I think a lot of people are still in DENIAL but more and more people have passed through this period and you can see the ANGER. Anger at the banks, the politicians, the government and Wall St. I think that you have to pass through these periods at your own pace and when you are ready to move on to the next you will. If you are in the ANGER stage you will soon get it that although it feels good to feel it and vent  it won’t get you anywhere and you will SURRENDER to the loss. I’m not a shrink or an expert on this subject but I have gone through these processes a number of times in my life so I know of my experiences. I found that the SURRENDER period didn’t last long and I moved into GRIEF. I felt despair, depression, fear and a feeling of being lost. It was during these times where I had to learn to take care of myself and love myself as only I could. I paid attention to my immediate needs and luckily I had friends who were there for me. At some stage I knew that it was time to move on. I had to decide where I wanted to go with my life after the loss. It seemed at times like it was going to be an almost impossible task to move in a postive direction but the human spirit is unbelievably strong.

 I know that and some of you who are facing these difficult times will soon learn as well. As a world we are one. J. Krishnamurtie said: You are the world and the world is you. It means that we are all interconnected and when something happens to you on some level it effects me. Again I’m not a Christian but Jesus alledgedly said: What you do unto my brother you do unto me. I believe that. If you do I think the time has come to do what you can to take of the world. The first step is to make sure that you are taking care of yourself which includes taking care of all that you love. Hold space for yourself and others so that they might complete this process and move forward to a new life that will hopefully be better than before. The old ways did not work for enough people. I have great hope for the longterm but the shorterm may be difficult. Take care of yourself and when the time comes make new dreams.

SONG OF THE DAY: LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL

In my last post I encouraged you, when you can, to let the good times roll. It made me think of that song which has been performed by so many great blues artists. I like B.B. King’s and Bobby Blue Bland’s the most although Ray Charles makes it work too. Someone once told me that you really can’t appreciate the blues until you have had them. That resonates with me as I have had the blues on more than one occasion. I don’t think its fun to have the blues or be down but life throws a lot of stuff at you and it’s not all pretty. I talk a lot about finding out what you are made of and its those times that you are down and have to reach deep down into yourself to find a path out. It does change most people and if you choose to learn from it you can deal with life when you know that you can find a way out. Now I’m at a place in my life where I don’t wonder if I will ever get out. I know I will get out and I just need to focus to find the way. I believe that only each person can find their way and know that they will get out of whatever it is after they have had practice. The world has changed and I really believe it will never be the same but I truly believe it will be better for most of us. The key is to embrace the changes and not be afraid of them.

SECURITY AND FREEDOM

I received a very nice comment from someone who is obviously interested in the subject of security. I agreed with much of what he/she said but there was one sentence that I wanted to share with you that I don’t agree with. His/her comment started by agreeing that there is no longer financial security and no longer job security but he/she said that money brought freedom. I think money brings options. Options to do things that cost money. I know a number of extremely rich people who can do ANYTHING that they want to do but they are not free. They are still searching for the security that doesn’t exist. They are still mired in fear. And from a practical point the management of their money takes a lot of time. I’m talking in generalites here but unless you get it that there is no security you will chase that tail for the rest of your life. You will never feel really free until you get it that you will die and that shit happens and all the planning, bobbing and weaving won’t guarantee anything.

I have a background in financial planning. I held securities, insurance and real estate licenses. People want you to tell them that they will be fine and not to worry. There is no amount of financial planning that will guarantee that. I have seen and shown those charts that show if you do this, this will happen. Its a myth! However I think that its good to live believing that all will be fine and not to worry. You got to have faith that no matter what is thrown at you, you will get off the mat and do whatever you can do to address the situation. Some days its chicken and some days its feathers. I’m not saying that you don’t plan. You do save, invest, buy houses, etc. You have accountants and attorneys if you need them. Just expect the unexpected and if it happens you will be ready. The freedom will come when you can have moments where you let go and trust. Trust in yourself and or trust that somebody with more power than you have will smile down on you.

Speaking of letting go I want to say that the dollar is strong in most places in the world right now and good airline fares abound. You know the old saying: When the going gets tough the tough go traveling. Thailand is such a bargain right now. If you can take some time come on down. If you can’t spend a day at the zoo. There is always something happening at the zoo! THAT’S WHAT LOVE WOULD DO.

WHERE IS MY SECURITY?

People are running all over the place looking for a safe place. They are looking for security. Well guess what? THE ONLY SECURITY IS WHEN YOU GET THAT THERE ISN’T ANY STINKING SECURITY. That’s right. There isn’t a place in the world that will guarantee your money. You  or more specifically your purchasing power. You put your dollar in and pull the handle. Round and round she goes and where she stops nobody knows. Some days it’s a jackpot and some days its lemons. Most days its somewhere in between. LIFE IS A RISK! One of the keys is to make lemonade on the days lemons come up and hope its hot out. I know some very, very rich people and they have lost a lot of money. How about some of those Madoff people? I know someone who invested with him and that person was as careful as careful could be about his/her money. Well its gone!

In my humble opinion the one thing they can’t take away from me is the memories. I was never sorry when I did something fun and crazy. I was never sorry for anything that I bought that I really wanted. I was never sorry that I went wherever. The only time I felt bad was when I didn’t go for what I really wanted. I have a lot of other friends who were always going to do something when they had more money or more time, etc. Well, guess what? It may be too late for some of them. I know this young guy who, when he finished college, decided to see the world. The rest of his friends went right to work and got right into the grind. Well this young guy spent 8 years in the Alps skiing, learning Italian and German, mountain climbing and living life to the very, very fullest. At some point he realized that he wanted something different and became an attorney and I’m sure a very good one. You know about the best laid plans? Well this global recession has caused a lot of professional people to lose their jobs. This young man is one. The key to the story is that although he is pounding the pavement right along side of him are people his age who went right to work and didn’t see the world. Maybe it was something else that they wanted to do and didn’t. In my opinion those folks missed something. However, the sun will come up tomorrow. THE GOOD TIMES WILL ROLL AGAIN! These folks will find work and create new dreams. This young guy however has the memories for great great times that will last forever.

The point is that most of us at one time or another will face challenges. We will face disappointments and circumstances will just be what they will be. That is how we find out what we are made of. Make sure that along the way you don’t miss out on some of the fun. At times I feel insecure and scared and when that happens I go inside myself to that place that remembers that we have been here before and it really became an opportunity to experience something new and different and we wouldn’t have done it unless given the opportunity from the seemingly horrible event that happened one time earlier. Kids, and I mean all us kids, young and old, THE GOOD TIMES WILL ROLL AGAIN! I know that! Just be ready to join in and party. whenever you get the chance. THAT IS WHAT LOVE WOULD DO

WHERE IS THE KING OF HEARTS?

Have you ever seen the King of Hearts? It is a movie that needs to be seen once a year. It just feels good when the movie ends. It’s from the 60’s or early 70’s with Alan Bates as the star. It’s French with subtitles but is easy to follow. It is a movie for all to see and discuss. We could do it here on the blog. I don’t want to give any more info but we need to find the King of Hearts.

GET A THAI COOKBOOK

It’s hot in Thailand today! As we know and have been discussing that the world is in a recession or depression depending on whether you have a job or not. Today I want to talk about eating Thai food. Thai food seems to be a favorite of almost anyone that I meet. I happen to like most Asian food but Thailand is where I live. Thai food is so easy to cook and it’s really good and inexpensive.

 This is what you do: First get a Thai cookbook. You can find a small one in almost any bookstore or on line. I looked at the ingredients and became overwhelmed but then my wife took me to an Asian market. There I discovered Thai currie paste. There are countless numbers of different currie paste that have instructions in english and the directions are easy to understand. My favorite is panang. On the shelves I found panang currie paste in a packet and I was ready to cook. The directions were to add the paste to coconut milk along with basil, chili and garlic. All you do is mix the ingredients and if you want add vegetables, chicken, pork, beef or seafood and serve it over rice or noodles. One packet of currie paste and one can of coconut milk can make enough currie for 6 meals and it gets better over a couple of days as the flavors blend with each other. I doubt that it cost more than a couple of dollars a meal and you only need to cook once every two or three days depending on how many people are eating. My other favorites are Thai red, Thai green and Thai yellow. Try them all. I won’t say that you won’t gain weight by eating this way but I take the position that its calories in, calories out that is the secret to keeping a healthy weight. There are not a lot of fat Thais and they eat all day. Make it an adventure and see what happens. I am sure that you can Google Thai food and find online stores that will send things to you.

One fun thing that we will do this summer is have a lot of picnics. You can make your food, call a friend or friends and meet in a park or at the beach or by a lake. Thai food is easy to cook and easy to serve. We are going to need to support our friends and all receive support from them. This is one that you can accomplish both.

DON’T FORGET STAY COOL

I think it would be good to read the previous post: STAY COOL before reading this one. In the last one we talked about getting clear and taking responsibility. This is what I did when I had my personal financial meltdown. I got some help! I went to a good therapist who was able to ask the right questions as well as give me much needed psychological support. He helped me get clear on where I really was. He also helped me get clear on what really was important. With his help I created a good and not so good honest assessment or where I stood financially. It wasn’t a pretty picture. I then took a look at my strengths of which I had a few. I knew that there were some weak areas but I chose to only focus on my strengths. I then got clear on what was important to me. As I mentioned before it was health, family and friends. I started taking care of myself. I started eating healthy and increased my exercise program. I also listened to more music and I focused on gentle but upbeat and familiar to me. I spent more time talking with my children and trying to focus on them instead of my own challenges. Thirdly, I made a list of my friends who I knew cared for me and supported me. They knew I was in the soup and they called me and supported me throughout my ordeal. I stayed with my program and things began to happen. Money showed up in strange ways and my relationships got deeper and more intimate. I had been in the Oakland Hills fire in 1991 and had lost all of my stuff so stuff was no longer that important. What was important was what I stated earlier. All during these times I kept telling myself to not surrender to fear and STAY COOL. I really discovered who I was and what I was made of during these times. The challenges truly made me stronger and wiser. If you find yourself in a similar situation remember that you aren’t the only one and the sun will always come up the next day. We all have it in us to survive and thrive. The road gets a little bumpy once in a while for the adventure is always worth it.

STAY COOL!!!!!!!!

Articles have been written and are being written about the financial meltdown so if you have an interest in the details you can find them. I want to focus on what are we and you in particular going to do about it. Someone said that if your neighbor loses his job it’s a recession but if you lose your job it’s a depression. I really feel that there is a lot of merit to that statement. We have been talking about learning to live your life from love and not fear but at this time in our history I believe that it is scary out there. The most important behavior during these times is STAY COOL. A good friend of mine once said to me: You know it’s not what happens to you but how it affects you. Later on I added: and what are you going to do about it? So many people want to be told what to do and so many people have their head in the sand. The truth is that we don’t know what will happen nor how long it will take to recover.

You have to take your head out of the sand and take responsibility for your lives. What the government is doing with these bailouts may or may not work or perhaps help you. I have a Bacherlor of Science in business management, have held a securities license, an insurance license and am presently licensed as a real estate broker in the State of California. I spent well over half my life trying to find ways that guarantee’d the future financially and there aren’t any. Life is the ultimate risk and in the end you are going to lose because you are going to die. Death is the only guarantee.

If you can buy into some of what I am saying then you can get on with it. Some people will actually make more money during these times, some will not be effected while others are going to get hammered. I experienced the hammering in the mid 90’s and lived to tell about it. I felt the fear everyday but on a deep level I knew that I had to get clear on what my situation really was. What was the worse case scenario and how did I feel about that? I also got really clear on what were the most important things to me. In my case it was health, family and friends. The stress that I felt was really horrible. I found myself waking up early with the thoughts racing through my mind. As soon as I woke up and started stressing I got out of bed and went to the gym. On some level I believed that all of this would pass and I wanted to make sure that I was healthy when that time came. I had made my business game plan and by 8am I had worked out, read the paper, showered, eaten and was ready to go. Slowly but surely things got better and when I felt the worst was over I was healthy and ready for the next stage of my life.

I will continue this tomorrow so in the meantime STAY COOL!!!!!!!!!

EHOW AND HOW STUFF WORKS

In my search to learn more about blogging I have been directed to two great sights. www.ehow.com and www.howstuffworks.com are filled with information on how to do things and how they work. The information is presented in a way that makes it easier for me to find and understand than anything that I have seen before. Check it out.